piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
