he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
