who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
