Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
