May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
