Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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