exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
