Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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