so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
