I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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