you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
