just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
