Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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