Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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