Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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