I think my vagina is haunted
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
