it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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