my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
