The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
