I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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