So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
