singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
