So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
