why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize