I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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