That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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