whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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