So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
one might say we're banned from that church
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I am mentally ready for anal.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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