just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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