I can tuck mytits in my pants
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
