I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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