I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
