Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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