Kiss
Puke
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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