so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
