Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
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Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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