Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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