I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
His nipple licking is glorious
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