pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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