using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
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It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
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so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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