So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
