3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
