fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
