so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
