some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she looked like the before picture.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
