I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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