You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize