He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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