A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize