you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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