I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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