i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my sisters under your porch take her home
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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