so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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