My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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