gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
