He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
