jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
