It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
