yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
