goodnight i made you a song goodbye
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
