yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize