So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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