Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
