i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
