So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
