Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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