Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
