I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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