Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
