Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
