she woke up with a sticky ear
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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