I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
